Man Hands! Nope… we’re not making a classic Seinfeld reference. We’re talking about a new Lincoln, NE based company that offers a line of uniquely scented soap, crafted especially for men who are sick of being “forced to use all those girly scented soaps”.

Their guy-friendlier answer to grapefruit spiked suds and lavender laden lather: bar soaps “handmade by man” that are said to capture “some of the manliest smells this world has to offer”. So for $6 – $7 per 3 ounce bar, men can now opt to smell like Bacon, a Baseball Glove, Beer, or even a Democrat or Republican.

But the odiforous, stereotypical fun doesn’t stop there. ManHands has 19 “manly” scents in all, so a guy can smell exactly the way he wants to… you know, really dig deep and find THE PERFECT scent to complement his genuine essence.

Our favorite – and by favorite we mean the one that most repulses us – is Urinal Mint, which, for those of us who don’t stand when we pee (unless of course we’re using a SHEWEE), refers to the smell of a freshly un-pee’d on urinal cake, a men’s restroom staple. Sounds downright delightful.

Ok… with that stuff-of-nightmares/I never needed to know that info freshly burned into our brains, let’s jump back to the ManHands partisan bars for a second. We had no idea that Democrats and Republicans had an actual scent or a “manly” one at that. Do Hillary and Condoleezza know about this?

ManHands Soap Scent ListThe other “manly” soap scents in the ManHands line include: Bonfire, Brewed Coffee, Buttered Popcorn, Cannabis, Cedar Log Cabin, Fresh Cut Grass, Margarita, Muscle Rub, Nag Champa Incense, Obsession Cologne, Red Wine and Top Soil.

We’d be remiss if we didn’t mention their Cash scent, which we assumed was for guys who inexplicably want to smell old, dirty and like a festering petri dish of bacteria and germs. That was until we read what ManHands says about their Cash scent, “There is no smell a young female will be more attracted to, trust us.”

Um… trust US ManHands, that could not be further from the truth. We were ready and willing to applaud your ballsy creativity with this brand, but the measure of your manhood just shrunk after that little dip in the cold, cold pool of “did you really need to go there?”.

POST UPDATE: Adam Anderson, the man behind ManHands Manly Scented Soap read our article and, in regard to the questionable Cash scent tagline, wanted us all to know the following:

“Sorry if anyone was offended by that tag line, that didn’t come from us… we have no intention of being sexist and want everyone to enjoy them as they are meant to be fun and laughed about… Thank you for the great article, I enjoyed reading it!”

With that said, we can now wholeheartedly applaud Adam’s entrepreneurship and creativity and wish him much success with his brand and new venture. However, we’d suggest he ask his online retailer, who wrote the low brow Cash scent descrip, to make a much needed copy adjustment.