In this new 1-minute spot from Heineken, throngs of seemingly frustrated millennial women are seen leaving bars and clubs, while belting out the 30 year old lyrics to Bonnie Tyler’s “Holding Out For A Hero.” The source of their angst? Well, it sounds and appears to stem from them not being able to find any sober “good men”… you know like “a white knight upon a fiery steed” or “a superman to sweep” them off their feet, who is “cool dude” enough to say “no” to that next beer.

Ok… what!?! Could this commercial be more archaically stereotypical (both towards women and men)… not to mention entirely heterosexual?

According to AdWeek the spot will launch Heinken’s global “Moderate Drinkers Wanted” campaign, which breaks in 30 worldwide markets this week. They report, “It stems from a study of 5,000 premium-beer drinkers between 21 and 35 years old. That research found responsible drinking carries cool cachet with the millennial crowd.”

Ok… what!?! While that may be what the research showed, how exactly does it translate to millennial women needing a responsible drinking hero and/or that most millennial men are sloppy, irresponsible drunks?

Just considering the former because our brains hurt too much to break all of this bad down, how about millennial women being depicted as their own heroes (with or without beers in hand). That’s about as much “cool cachet” as you can get Heineken.