Apparently, the Nine West shoe company has gone back to another era for its latest ad campaign. Launched a few days ago, the company’s new taglines Starter Husband Hunting, Walk of Shame and First Day of Kindergarten, seem more like an Onion parody than an actual campaign from 2014.

The husband hunting ad reads: “Go get ’em tiger. Whether you’re looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now … we got a shoe for that.” Say what?

In an interview with the New York Times, senior vice president of marketing for Nine West, Erika Szychowski said, “We have to change the way we talk about occasions because women are modern now and shop for a different reason.” Styles in Starter Husband Hunting, for example, might once have been called night-on-the-town shoes, she added. Is this woman serious? Now going out-on-the-town equates to looking for a husband? Good to know.

“Go get ’em tiger. Whether you’re looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now … we got a shoe for that.”

If Nine West is looking to target the “modern” woman, then perhaps they should have thought about what that actually means. What exactly is modern about shaming a woman for “anticipating” having sex?

There are so many ways this campaign could have gone right. Using images and taglines that uplift and empower women would have had a much better affect on us than the vintage culture Nine West has tapped into here.

So, we have taken it upon ourselves to come up with a few taglines we think speak more to the “modern” woman: CEO in Training, Hear Me Roar, Women Belong In The House… The White House, She’s Marrying Her Dream Girl, Rock The World and Engineered For Success… we could go on and on, but you get the picture.

In her interview, Ms. Szychowski goes on to say…“I’m comfortable that it will make noise and it will get attention, and my gut tells me that it’s not offensive,” referring to the campaign. Not so sure about her gut, but they are certainly making some noise, and we’re pretty sure it’s not the noise the brand was looking for because it sounds a lot like women shutting their wallets to us.

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