Last week, a video of woman silently walking on the streets of NYC went super viral. Over her 10 hour urban trek, she was catcalled, ogled, told to smile, “blessed” for her assets, verbally harassed for not responding to obvious come-ons, and followed for over 5 minutes by one super creepy guy. The video has earned the actress and producer both rape and death threats, has been dissected from every angle, and, most recently, branded racist. We thought there could not possibly be more to say about it, until we read an op-ed piece by a seemingly educated and accomplished woman.

Enter Rachel Alexander and her “Feminists Jealous of Catcalls and Speaking to Women Walking in New York City” article for The Christian Post. In just shy of 1,000 words, Alexander, an attorney and the editor for intellectualconservative.com, chose to use the hype of the viral video as an opportunity to rail against feminists, wrapping us all up in one ugly, little, stereotypical box.

Based on the 6 outrageous statements she made, her rant is yet another sad example of the warped view of feminists (and feminism) that still prevails today. It also left us wondering how male feminists factor into her world view… clearly, they don’t.

Here’s the breakdown of this woman’s misguided “truth”:

1. Feminists Are Jealous (And Unattractive)

“The truth is, catcalls bother feminists because they’re jealous.”

How does she substantiate this claim? Oh… by citing feminist authority (please read the blatant sarcasm here), Rush Limbaugh, as her barometer of truth. She notes, “One of Rush Limbaugh’s 35 Undeniable Truths of Life is that ‘feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society.'” And there you have it.

2. Feminists Don’t Give A Sh*t About How They Look

“Feminists are highly critical of women who choose to make a significant effort to look attractive. If they can stop men from complimenting pretty women, they won’t have to observe it and feel pangs of jealousy.”

Crap… she just let the cat out of the centuries-old feminist bag. You got us, it’s true… screw equality, equal pay, reproductive rights, etc. We all know this fight is really about us being able to look slovenly.

3. Feminists Want To Make Men… Women

“The other dynamic at play here is feminists want to make men just like women. They don’t want to acknowledge there are differences between the genders; men generally tend to be more aggressive* and pursue women.”

We didn’t realize that wanting men to act civilly and respectfully toward women would require them to be just like women. And here we were thinking it was simply about men behaving just like humans.

* Quick debate style sidebar: in the vast array of differences that do, in fact, exist between men and women, always go with the most overtly stereotypical one in an attempt to prove your point.

4. Men Are Brainless, Biting Fish; Feminists In Tight Clothes Are Irresistible Bait

“The woman in the video had big, long hair, was very curvy and wore a tight shirt and tight jeans. She could have chosen not to dress that way and avoid the attention. It is akin to leaving a dollar bill on the ground and making fun of everyone who tries to pick it up, or baiting a hook then laughing at the fish for biting.”

Did she just play the “she asked for it card,” while reducing all men to ravenous animals, in an attempt to defend them? She sure did and it’s priceless.

5. Feminists Don’t Like Compliments

“If the feminists have their way, men will no longer be able to compliment women.”

Yep, she got us again. We want a world where men are completely silenced, never permitted to speak another word about us, and certainly not to us. (Sigh)

6. Feminists Are Vengeful, Prone To Falsely Accuse Men Of Rape

“This is directly related to the current movement taking place to label men as rape-prone on college campuses. That effort places a stigma on men as more liable to commit rape during a drunken hookup, while ignoring the reality that women also commit rape. This is very dangerous territory, because it leaves the door wide open for women to later falsely accuse men of rape out of revenge, with society conditioned to believe the accusations once the stereotype is put into place.”

So with this last point, she’s talking about the danger of making overarching declarative statements about men that lump them ALL into stereotypical, hyper-defined categories? Huh… sounds amazingly familiar.

A word of advice from this group of very attractive, non-jealous, non-slovenly, non-man-hating, non-compliment-loathing, non-vengeful feminists (women and men) to you, Rachel Alexander… you might want to practice what you preach before you stand in misguided judgement of others.

PS – We hope we don’t the “incur the wrath of [your] protective husband” for calling you out like this. Or is his damsel-in-distress inspired wrath reserved only for “men complimenting [your] appearance.”