By Melissa Atkins Wardy – On Monday we all listened to and loved Emma Watson’s UN speech on feminism and gender stereotypes. As quickly as the fanfare arrived, so did the online rape threats, death threats, and website counting down the release of nude photos of the actress/UN ambassador…..just because she is a woman who dared to use her voice and suggest the wild notion that females are human beings.
The reaction of these men who use fear to promote their power is a measure meant to terrorize us to ‘stay in our place’. To shame empathetic men and to overpower outspoken women. To stunt our thinking and growth as a society. To silence our voices.
I think this kind of man is an excellent reminder of why we must speak all the louder.
There will always be scared men out there for whom educated, outspoken women are threatening. Their fear is not our concern.
There will always be intimidated men out there for whom women are seen only as vaginas, either to sexually please them or piss them off. Their lack of humanity is not our concern.
There will always be small-minded men out there for whom achieving equality between the sexes signals a dangerous loss of power. Their discomfort is not our concern.
“There will always be scared men out there for whom educated, outspoken women are threatening. Their fear is not our concern.”
Our energy has to be spent on modeling for our young people what a confident woman looks like and how a strong man respects girls and women. That is the single easiest thing that you can do to bring us closer to a world in which an articulate young woman is able to make a speech about men and women being more powerful as equals instead of opposing forces, and not come home to rape and death threats.
Our energy has to be spent on truly empowering our girls, which extends beyond facebook memes and movie characters and cleverly-marketed toys. It is the daily, sometimes grueling work of instilling in our daughters an unshakable knowledge that she has worth. Everything else in the world will tell her otherwise. We have to raise our daughters in such a way that when we send her out into the world she has the heart and courage of a lioness.
Steel yourself to the idea that this will not be easy. That does not mean it is not worth doing.
Our energy must also be spent on our sons, which is an often overlooked yet absurdly obvious answer to the problem of a culture of men who threaten through internet comments unspeakable sexual crimes against women, who create a color-coded system to give girls date rape drugs, or who fail to take a stand against other men who beat women senseless. And that’s just this week’s headlines.
Our energy must go into expanding the current definition of what it means to be masculine, so that our boys can grow into men who are allowed to be full human beings for whom having emotions and feelings is acceptable. We can teach our sons that violence is not a path to power. We can instill in our sons an unshakable truth that girls and women have value. Boys need see articulate, successful mothers and respectful, self-confident fathers working together to raise their families — and not in just the 1950?s implication of that sentence, I mean as a society of mothers and fathers who take responsibility for our collective children turning out to be good people.
Fear, intimidation, and the threat of violence have always been used to silence voices attempting to bring about change and equal rights. Yet change always comes.
Be not silent. Speak all the louder.
This piece originally appeared on the Pigtail Pals Blog yesterday and is republished on Women You Should Know with the author’s permission.
About The Author
Melissa Atkins Wardy is the author of “Redefining Girly: How Parents Can Fight the Stereotyping and Sexualizing of Girlhood, Birth to Tween.” She advocates for children and educates parents on the harms of gender stereotypes and the sexualization in childhood. Melissa is the owner of Pigtail Pals & Ballcap Buddies, an online boutique offering empowering children’s apparel since 2009. Melissa’s work has been featured on CNN, FOX News, NPR, TODAY show , Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, NY Daily News, and Ms. Magazine, among others. You can read her blog at: pigtailpalsblog.com or find her on Facebook (Pigtail Pals Ballcap Buddies) and Twitter at @PigtailPals.