What would your favorite literary characters say if they were armed with cell phones and could text? That’s exactly what inspired author Mallory Ortberg’s Texts from Jane Eyre: And Other Conversations with Your Favorite Literary Characters, a whimsical collection of “hilarious imagined text conversations?the passive aggressive, the clever, and the strange?from classic and modern literary figures, from Scarlett O’Hara to Jessica Wakefield.”

texts-from-jane-eyre-3dIn the page of her book, Mallory, co-creator of The Toast, a cult-favorite site geared toward women, uses her quick wit and sarcastic humor to bring characters from beloved books into the twenty-first century.

“Everyone knows that if Scarlett O’Hara had an unlimited text-and-data plan, she’d constantly try to tempt Ashley away from Melanie with suggestive messages. If Mr. Rochester could text Jane Eyre, his ardent missives would obviously be in all-caps. And Daisy Buchanan would not only text while driving; she’d text you to pick her up after she totaled her car,” said Mallory about some of her inspirations.

If Plato is not your speed, don’t despair. The text conversations include characters from both classic and modern literature like Hamlet, Emma, Little Women, Wuthering Heights, A Tale of Two Cities, Nancy Drew, The Outsiders, Harry Potter and The Hunger Games. There really is something for everyone!

Sample pages from the Pride & Prejudice chapter: