In this episode of Sally Hubbard’s Women Killing It! podcast, writer, lawyer, and author Jill Filipovic shares how the cult of female sacrifice does a disservice to women, and how attitudes toward sex are disconnected from reality.

“Across the US, one thing that did really stand out was how many [women] felt like they were really failing at whatever they were supposed to be doing in life, and that part of that came from this expectation of whole and unending sacrifice all the time. That they were supposed to be buttressing their husband’s careers, supposed to be the best mom in the neighborhood at all times, they were supposed to be doing 150% in 8 different roles, which doesn’t work.”

Jill Filipovic is a contributing opinion writer for the New York Times, a lawyer, and the author of The H-Spot: The Feminist Pursuit of Happiness. For the New York Times, Jill has written thought-provoking pieces like Why Men Want to Marry Melanias and Raise Ivankas and The All-Male Photo Op Isn’t a Gaffe. It’s a Strategy. In The H-Spot, Jill advocates for prioritizing women’s happiness and pleasure in forming public policy.

Listen in on this Women Killing It! episode as Jill talks about her bold career path, from working at a law firm to becoming a full-time writer living in Kenya, whose work on law, politics, gender and foreign affairs has appeared in the Washington Post, VICE, TIME, Al Jazeera America, the Nation, Foreign Policy, Marie Claire, and others.

Jill also discusses the importance of working both to change the rigged system and to make personal and cultural changes within the existing system. “It eventually became very obvious that trying to make ourselves equal to men in a system that has been made by men, for men, according to their interests and priorities and life rhythms, was not going to be super effective… The ultimate goal of anyone’s life isn’t to be equal to someone else, it’s to be happy. So I was curious to answer the question of what that would look like, both policy-wise and culture-wise.”

lead photo credit: Gary He

More Women Killing It! On Women You Should Know

Coming up… next week’s Women Killing It! interview features Kristina Saffran, co-founder and CEO of Project HEAL, the leading non-profit in the US delivering prevention, treatment financing, and recovery support for people suffering from eating disorders.

In case you missed it… check out Sally’s previous episode that features law professor and political activist Zephyr Teachout, who offers her firsthand take on women running for office.

For even more inspiration, you can subscribe to Women Killing It! on iTunes…